Supermom? What's that?

Let me preface this post by saying that I absolutely love being a mum. The wonder, the sense of accomplishment, the joy, the love... Oh the love. There is no possible way to express the depth of this love in the English language. Jaxson makes me emotional, protective, confident, strong, weak, fearful, joyful, worried, proud, excited, and frustrated… Oh the frustration!

Yesterday, I felt this more than I ever have! It was, hands down, the most frustrating day I've had as a mum yet!

Here's what happened:

There was no indication that yesterday was going to be as awful as it was. Jaxson had a great 10 hour sleep, woke up at about 7:30, nursed in bed with me and then I got up with him and made him breakfast. At about 9, he started getting tired again, as usual, so I put him down for his first nap. Unusually, he screamed for about 10 minutes before he finally went down. 

He slept until 11:30, a fantastic, but fairly standard nap, and the day just went downhill from here.
Part of the problem may have been that I had a long list of things I wanted to get done (i'm sure to non-mum's it doesn't seem like much, but it's amazing how long it takes you to do things when you become a mum!): I cleaned my makeup brushes, and put one of two loads of laundry in before he woke up.

When Jaxson did wake up, I let him crawl around a little bit, before I fed him. In hindsight, this may have been a mistake. While I tried to tidy the kitchen, do a few dishes and then start to peel and quarter pears so I could steam them, Jaxson first got his fingers pinched in the drawers in the kitchen, pulled all the tupperware off the shelf and then attacked Yuki's water dish with a vengeance! No matter how many times I moved him to his play area in the living room, I could not keep him away from it! So I plunked him down in his high chair and gave him some finger food so I could get a bit more done. He was ok for a bit, a little fussy because I could not keep up with his hunger; I couldn't get food on his tray fast enough! He must be going through another growth spurt…

While he was in the highchair, I was able to peel and quarter a bag of pears and put them on to steam. At this point, he was done eating, so I let him down and then went to try make myself something to eat, as it was almost 2pm! I turned my back to chop some onions and garlic and put them in a pan to fry, and fry up some ground beef that needed to be cooked before it went bad. When I looked back, he had disappeared! The only place he could have gone in our tiny suite was the bathroom! I ran in there, fearful of the worst, and found him sitting by the toilet, a pile of cold poo that I had dumped in there from his diaper earlier on the floor in front of him. GAH! I swept him up in a huff, stripped him down and plunked him in the sink, soaping with quite warm water his arms, hands, face, and as luck would have it, his tongue as he has taken to sticking it out when I wash his face. I had to go back to my onions, which were starting to brown, and the ground beef, which was starting to stick to the pan, so I put him down in the living room. Before I knew what was happening, he had raced to Yuki's dog dish and spilled the whole slobbery bowl onto the floor. 

This was the point I lost it. My onions were burning, i'd just soaped him down, i'd been chasing him around all morning, and now I had to mop up the kitchen floor. That was it. I scooped him up and plopped him down in his crib for his first ever time out! Needless to say, my little darling was not happy about this, but I needed just a few minutes to breathe and eat something. I went back to the stove, where my onions and garlic were now black and the house was all smokey. It was at this point that my friend Brittany and her son came over. She walked in to a screaming baby in the bedroom, a smokey house and me on the fritz! The only thing she said when she walked in was "oh my!" I proceeded to vent, put my finished, though burnt, lunch in a bowl and then went to get Jaxson. He was sobbing, tears glistening on his cheeks, his face red, his body wracked with sobs. The minute I picked him up, he stopped, gave me and then Brittany a great big smile and grabbed onto my shirt and did NOT let go! Pretty cute, though manipulative, I have to admit. 

He was great while Brittany and Evan were there, but once they left, he went back to his fussy self. For the rest of the day, I couldn't put him down and walk away from him without him throwing a little tantrum!

Into the evening, I put him in his exersaucer so I could finish the second load of laundry and then get dinner prepped and in the oven for when Adrian got home, and he very nearly climbed out of the darn thing! That's how much he hates being immobilized these days… I didn't even think it was possible to get out of those! Thankfully he didn't succeed, but he got far closer than I'm comfortable with… To settle him down, when I finally had dinner in the oven, I gave him a bath. Thankfully, he loves baths, and that kept him entertained for about a half hour!

Oh man, what a day! I love my little bug, but by the end of the day, I needed a big glass of wine! A smile and the loving look in his eyes made all the frustrations of the day melt away though. I think it's pretty amazing how a simple smile from him can make me feel that way. There's no love like that between a mother and her child!